I cannot believe that a year has gone by. It feels like we just brought her home, though its impossible to imagine our world without her. I can remember when I had Elliot, people asking me all the time if I was "over the moon" and "it's hard to imagine life without her, right?" and I was thinking to myself...what? I remember all too clear how it was to sleep and do what I want when I want to do it and I am still trying to get to know this little baby that literally scares the shit out of me. Not that I didn't fall in love with her immediately, but I thought I would look at her and think to myself "it's you" Which I know the fact that Elliot was a girl, rocked my world. But I remember thinking, who are you? I don't know you and I have no idea how to do this. It was the longest most formative year of my life. That being said...
When Sehra Delilah was born, I had a similar reaction when she was born because she also surprised me that she was a girl, not to mention her birth was stressful and I didn't get the ultra important bonding moments with her after she was born due to the fact that she was having trouble breathing and holding her vitals. BUT...once we got the ok to move out of the labor and delivery room and move into our recovery room, it was almost immediate that I recognized her (it probably took some of the horrible swelling to go down)and felt as though I knew her. I think it was because she reminded me so much of elliot even though they didn't look very much alike but there was something so familiar about her immediately. I suppose that I also wasn't in shock either:)
Once we got her home, she was added into our life as though she was always there. Sure, it was hard, as it always is though the second time around it is so much easier because my life was already set up to not sleep and focus on the kids before myself. Delilah, Baby D, Sehra D, Boo Boo is just a sweet girl. She came out looking identical to her daddy. She still does, but she is changing and has some flavors of mommy in there. She has the biggest blue eyes with super long lashes and a smile that doesn't stop. She is almost as determined as Elliot and she will let you know if she is not happy, but in general she is just a sweet natured little girl that smiles and flirts with everyone. She is now walking - tentatively, but its now the main mode of transportation. She has been taking her time with it and been working on it for over a month but she is getting pretty good and even bending her knees now:) She is a great eater. She will pretty much eat whatever you put in front of her which is nice after Elliot, my little picky eater(who knew that could be genetic?)
This time, I can honestly say, that this year flew by and I can't imagine life without her. I'm so sad that she is growing up so fast. Knowing that she is our last little munchkin, its hard to watch her baby time fade. She is my snuggly little baby that loves to love.
We had a fabulous over the top one year birthday blow out complete with a bouncy house, face painting, grilling and a keg of beer:). It was definitely more for the older kids and the parents, as Delilah napped through a good portion of it, but it was the best party ever.
I have now moved her into her big girl carseat facing forward (i know, some say not until 2) but she is so much happier and I have the best seat in the house when I look in my rearview mirror and I see my two sweet baby girls behind me. Who knew? I never pictured myself having a daughter, nevermind 2, but it sure it sweet and I can't wait for all the girl fun to come.
Thank you, Danny for my beautiful children, our love filled life, being the most amazing hands on dad, getting up with her (and Elliot) at 5 am and letting me sleep some more and most importantly for still being here when I'm clinically cu-razy!
Thank you, Mom for all your help and the way you love my kids (all of them)
Thank you, Dad for making sure to be here for their big days
Thank you, Brooke Amys for being my place of comfort, sanity, and laughter
Thank you, Ryan and Tk for being awesome and having kids at the same time as me:)
Thank you, Running, relays and triathlon
Thank you, life.
I spent almost four months wondering what the hell i was doing and not sure if i really could ever see the end. Once I got to the point in training where I could envision it, I would start to tear up thinking about it while I ran. I was so engrossed in the training. I have said it became my second job, but it really was tied for first with parenting and running the business. No matter how freezing or how much sleep I did not get, we were out there running before the sun came up. It hurt and felt amazing all at the same time. All until my ankle tendons (posterior tendonitis) started acting up. It was so bad that I had to bow out of most of my training in the last four weeks. I was terrified. I was scared that if I didn't run I would fail and if I did, would it get so bad that I couldn't run the marathon. After self diagnosing, I finally went to the real doctor to confirm my suspicions and get a plan together so I could heal and make it through that race. There was no way I put that much time, energy and emotion into this and not running this race. I had a wonderful physical therapist who was actually using a new technique for runners and he really helped my confidence. He said that as long as I didn't have any time expectations, that I should go ahead and run. I'm not sure I ever really had any time expectations anyway so I went for it.
I was feeling really good the week leading up to it. I think my low expectations really helped. I kept saying I just would like to finish under 5 hours thinking that would be me walking a lot and really in my mind I thought if I felt good, I would prob do around 4:30/4:45 since it was "rolling" terrain (which by the way, it was hilly not rolling). I didn't get nervous until the day before and I had so much nervous energy but it was different than any other race. I was SO excited. I could not wait to get out there to see what my body was willing to do. I popped out of bed at 4:30 am and ingested all of my energy items and set out in the freezing cold to pick up a couple of friends and get to the race. By the time we got out of the car it was snowing and cold but I was so happy to be there. 
We waited in warming tents while they delayed the race 15 minutes...ugh. I had decided to use the 10 min pace group to try and not overdo it in the beginning. I felt amazing. Most of the first six miles were up hill to the biltmore house but it was all good. Then once I got to the top and saw the house I saw my momma standing there waiting for me. She ran around the house with me and we just looked at each other beaming love. She is a huge part of my cheering team. She helped with my little girls on the early mornings that Danny had worked late and she would never fail to tell just how proud she was of me. Thanks mom.
I got choked up about four times from either a song that came on or getting to the top of the hill and the snow glistening in the sun just right. I've never felt happy running like that. I was definitely on a race high feeding off the energy of the people around me. Things started to get a little hairy around mile 9 when I had to pee so bad and every time I would see a port a potty - 1 port a potty - there would be a huge line and after waiting 30 seconds, i would take off hoping to see more. Finally around mile 11 I saw a clearing among some bamboo and I just peed.
Again, still feeling no pain and super happy I crossed the bridge to the other side of the biltmore grounds that people are not usually allowed on. I was not exactly prepared for it all to be trail. I love trail running but it is tough. Lots of hills and gravel. And oh my gosh, SO MUCH FREEZING COLD WIND! I think it was 12 degrees with the wind chill. I definitely started to fade around mile 16 and at mile 19 I could no longer run up hill so I would walk on the up hill and then keep trucking. Around mile 10 I saw a stand with water, gel, oranges, and coca cola? I couldn't really understand why that would be there but at mile 20 I took a shot of coca cola hoping it would do something magical. Danny called my phone as I was walking up a hill on mile 19 making sure I was ok because they were waiting at the bridge in the freezing cold hoping I was somewhere close. The next 2 miles felt like forever to get to them. My legs started cramping which I had never experienced and I thought it might be the end. I tried to stop and stretch but it just seemed to get worse so I kept running and it went away. I crossed the bridge and hugged my man and got a jolt of energy to begin running the last six miles. 
flat and freezing out and back. Brooke was there and started running with me with her big fancy camera and her street clothes which was awesome. I don't think she planned to keep going even though she had offered but she ended up running the last 6 miles with me listening to me go in and out of crazy(she is just that amazing of a friend). My ankles were screaming in pain and I would go between desperately wanting to walk (which I would do in spurts)and then needing to run fast to get it over with. Finally, after the course made us run past the finish line and around for a last bit of torture...I crossed the finish line with a time of 5 hours 1 min and 48 seconds. I was so close to my goal but honestly I am just so happy to have completed the marathon as a runner and not injured and walking or pulled off the course:). 
I saw Danny, grabbed him and wept. 
Not uncontrollably but the culmination of all that work and then the realization of it actually being over was just such a wonderful feeling. My friends and family that stood out there on the coldest day of the year might have actually had the hardest job. It was ridiculous and I wasn't aware of just how ridiculous it was until i wasn't running anymore.
I was pretty sure that I would never do it again and was really excited to only sign up for half marathons from here on out. I was SO sore the day after and my ankles felt as though I might have done permanent damage. A day later, I had no pain whatsoever! crazy.
So...I started researching which marathon I will run next year:)
